This Wednesday, in our Pause The Week session, we explored the science behind gratitude and how it can improve your well-being, reduce fear, increase motivation, and even lower inflammation in the body.
We discussed the importance of storytelling in gratitude, the difference between giving and receiving gratitude, and the role of understanding others' feelings.
Using this knowledge, we designed a simple yet effective gratitude practice that can be incorporated into daily life. It is about so much more than listing things to be thankful for, although that's always a good start.
Here is how it works:
1. Practice must be grounded in a narrative—you don't have to recite the story every time, but knowing the story and its relevance is necessary.
2. The story can involve you receiving thanks when it's being given genuinely or observing someone else receiving/expressing them.
3. Establish the story for your practice, then write 4-5 bullet points that serve as reminders of that story—a cue for the story. For example…
What was the struggle?
What help or gratitude was received?
What state was the person in before receiving the help or gratitude?
What state were they in afterwards?
How did this impact you emotionally?
4. Read your bullet points as a cue for your nervous system and spend between 1 and 5 minutes feeling into that experience.
5. Commit to the practice—three times per week, at any time of day. Regularity is key.
Feel free to find a story that resonates with you; here is one of my memories in story form, which you may enjoy practising with.
The Kindness of Strangers - A True Story
by Vicki Garlick
The cold, biting wind whipped around Vicki as she stood beside her broken-down car, her breath fogging in the darkness. The engine had sputtered and died, leaving her stranded on a deserted country road. It was 1998; Vicki had no mobile phone and couldn't afford breakdown insurance. She felt scared and helpless.
Fear began to creep into her heart. The only sound was the eerie howling of the wind in the trees. Walking towards the village in the cold night filled her with dread. Just when she thought she couldn't bear the solitude any longer, she heard the faint rumble of an approaching vehicle.
A pair of headlights pierced the darkness, and a small car pulled beside her. The window rolled down, revealing the smiling faces of an older couple. "Having trouble there, are we?" the man asked, his voice warm and comforting.
"Yes, my car broke down," Vicki replied, her voice trembling slightly.
"Well, hop in," the woman said, gesturing to the back seat. "We live just a minute up the road; you can call for help from our house.” Vicki had always been told not to accept lifts from strangers, and at only 19 years old, she still felt very much like a child in this situation. But this couple seemed lovely, and what choice did she have?
Vicki got in the back seat. As they drove, Tom and Mary chatted amiably, making Vicki feel less alone. Vicki explained that her father lived an hour away, and it would take him some time to come out to help move the car. Mary said they had no plans for the evening and not to worry at all. They soon arrived at their cosy cottage, where they invited Vicki inside to warm up.
"Give your Dad a call”, said Mary, “And then we've got some homemade soup just off the stove; it'll warm you right up."
Vicki’s father promised to be there as soon as he could. The soup was delicious, filling Vicki's empty stomach. As she ate, the couple explained that they had a daughter of a similar age and hoped she would receive the same help if she found herself in this predicament.
Vicki was incredibly grateful. She had never met such kind and generous strangers before. She felt a sense of peace as she curled up in front of the warm fire and waited for her dad to arrive.
A few days later, Vicki stopped by Tom and Mary and gave them a bottle of wine and some flowers to thank them for their kindness.
She knew that she would never forget the kindness of Tom and Mary—and she hasn't!
This weekly session runs every Wednesday between 7.30 and 8.30 at The Midwives Circle and Wellness Centre in Kettering. It is a donation-based offering and you can find out more here. There is only ever a maximum of 8 of us, so it is a small and welcoming group.
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